The Latest in My Daily Soap Opera

Hey Everyone:

Sorry I have been kind of slacking on the personal blog entries lately BUT as I have said many times I am not much of a writer (I'm a TERRIBLE writer), I TALK.. that is what I do, but NOT write : ) When I DO get inspired, have a thought or have an "impulse" THEN I am all about writing.

This entry is actually late because my initial "impulse" (much like acting where you work based on your impulses) to write came on Monday 1/23/06 because I had so much on my mind and wanted to put it down somewhere. If you haven't already noticed I am a very mental, analytical and strategic person soooo my little brain is always churning thoughts. This isn't necessarily a positive thing since it contributes to my INSOMNIA but it helps me to sort through my life.

You see my life is much like yours, it isn't special or different because I believe we ALL live interesting lives and have REALLY interessting stories. If you haven't met anyone new lately or talked to anyone new in depth lately you are missing out on an AMAZING story because us as humans have lived through so much, seen so much and experienced so much. The average story I hear can easily be turned into a movie or TV show.

Anyway back to what I was saying about my life... I live my life not only through MY eyes which is typical but I also live my life the the eyes of OTHERS. Now I know that sounds strange but it is a skill that I have developed where I look at things from different angles to get a better understanding of what is going on. This particular strategy isn't genuis at all so I am sure some of you do this TOO, but for some it may seem a little weird (this "perspective" has helped me amazingly with my acting).

Back to my writing "impulse", on Monday night I was walking to Penn Station (34th & 7th, in Madison Square Garden for you foreigners) after leaving my acting classes at The American Academy of Dramatic Arts (AADA) on the east side (east side of Mahattan) to catch the train (subway) home. It actually wasn't that late but I like to get home at a decent time since I have class like this everyday and I still have to pick out my outfit for the next day, make my lunch, pack my bag and all that other prepping (I am a perfectionist as well, hehehe). At night my brain finally gets a chance to unwind because it is pretty much the only time where I am not being stimulated mentally or I don't have to apply myself, learn, focus, etc.

Walking through the streets of New York City I almost felt like I was in the Matrix. You know those movies where the wanna-be actress moves to the "Big City" to pursue her dreams and she is walking through the streets all lit up, with taxi's honking, and smoke coming from the sewers, yea that movie!! So I was in THAT Matrix pondering how much I enjoyed my new acting school, learning about acting, movement, speech and just things that overall enhance me as an individual. Those types of things stimulate my brain (much like meeting new people) and really feed me and keep me moving & progressing. I was in the moment enjoying and pondering my present, wondering about my future (where will I end up?), and happily letting go of my past.

The reality is that I don't know what my future has in store so I just enjoy the moment BUT at the same time the TRIALS make me question everything... because there is no replacement for not seeing your family and friends BUT then you know that the TRIALS are only temporary hurdles that you must jump to get to the next level and each new level is another AMAZING experience that brings new HIGHS & lows BUT that it is INEVITABLE that you will reach your HOME if you keep pressing FORWARD... So I went home turned on my heating blanket and thanked GOD before I closed my almond eyes. I tell you... I LOVE those movies!!!