Insomniac

Hello..... Princess of Darkness here! (j/k)

Well today is another day. Another day, another dollar as hustlers worldwide would say.

I am up to my usual 5 million hours of work on the internet. I spend way too much time on here and after a while it just becomes one LONG session that doesn't seem to end or pause, it just continues endlessly.

I really have no reason to complain. My bills are paid, amazingly (thanks GOD). I have work, auditions, and meetings coming up. I even have a short vacation/road trip on the horizon but still I feel a little melancholy at the prospect of this being my life for the next 10 years. I know deep in my heart and soul that this is what I want. This career isn't something that I created but a seed that was planted in me. To be honest I don't think I could really do anything else with my life because when I did have a regular steady job I just wanted out (grass greener on other side). It is just important for me to know that when I get worn out I get cranky and with crankiness comes unnecessary emotional reflection that I would prefer to tuck into a corner until it is convenient for me like preparation for a role. Alas, I am not that simple and neither are my pesky emotions or sensitivities that I have nurtured as an actress so that I am available at all times to be responsive to my natural impulses (here I go with the acting talk, sorry).

SWITCHING THE CHANNEL......

So today after I worked I went to the dollar store to see what they have. These days I swear it is smarter if I go there first before I go shopping because they will have everything I need cheaper than at Duane Reade or wherever. I can go there and leave with two bags of stuff like cotton balls, garbage bags, air freshener, etc. for only $10. After that I came home but not without being irritated by the menacing men who always seem to be WAY too close to you on the train when you are not in the mood for people to be all in your space (hello crankiness).

When I got home I was so tired I just got into the bed and slept despite the fact that I felt my work calling me and even the fridge YELLING at me that I needed to go get groceries. I have been on a quest to get groceries for like 2 weeks and have yet to go : ( When I woke up I finally got back on the computer and found myself on YouTube listening to old songs. I love old songs because they have the power to transfer you into another time period and remind you of things good or bad. Music really speaks to me and I love being able to travel and reminisce about past times, people and places. Why I was listening to B2K, I have no idea???? but they used to have some cuts and I am not even going to front, HA. I also saw some nice old school Xscape (Tiny was so different back then - T.I. Baby Mother), Ginuwine, etc.

http://youtube.com/user/universalmusicgroup

http://youtube.com/user/sonybmg

I also neglected to mention that there is a new super in my apartment building who looks like A-Rod!! I should have known when I saw all the ladies in the hallway heein' and hawin' that something was up. Looks like Bronx Park E may be turning in Melrose Place.

Well after spending another 4 hours on here, a hawaiian bbq chicken pizza from Papa Johns, several bottles of water, many phone calls later I think I am ready to smoke a cigar and lay back. I live a lucky life but yet I still can't manage to relax. I need to get out and party and yet still all I do is work. What is my problem or to be REAL I have no problem, no problem at all I just like to torture myself for kicks. Obsessive compulsiveness, it is hereditary. Thanks Mom, LOVE you for that : )

Peace!

Random Shout-outs: Hey Mano - nice email link, Hi Lasana - sorry I missed your party, Hey MHC ladies - hope to see you all soon, Hi Orlando - see you guys soon, Hi NYC Industry - miss you guys hope to see you soon (Fader Party maybe??), Hi Family - see you guys soon, love you sooo much!, Hi Baby - Congrats on everything in your life. Bye..........